Love Log
During this encounter with: Buzz Night
Date: 26-Feb-05
1. What did I learn about my ability to give love?
I learned that I have great ability to give love in that I did all I could to make the February Buzz Night as smooth as possible. I tried to book the bands ahead of time and I went to Mayric’s early (8:30 pm) to be ready to greet the bands as they came in. BJ of Tether was early, too, and he kept me company for a while as we chatted and I tried to do a little work from time to time.
The bands I managed to book ahead of time were Bagetsafonik, Sunset Drive, Popular Days, Sunset Drive, Staring Season, Tenderpiss and Tether. Soft Pillow Kisses and Candyaudioline were supposed to play, too, but Allan decided at the last minute not to include the former (because of uncertainties), which he replaced with Superminty, and the latter… er, I’ll talk about it later. One band that Allan booked a few days before the event was Archaster, and it was a pity we weren’t able to put him on the poster, which Ekong drew and so nicely printed out for us. That was a good poster, if a bit makeshift.
So, I think I give good love. I try my best.
2. What did I learn about my ability to receive love?
I’ve sensed, however, that I have the tendency to weigh my actions against what I might be getting in return. For instance, I come early, but I expect people to come early, too; which isn’t very realistic because bands are made up of individual members, and that makes them hard to consolidate. The bands that night came reasonably on time, though I kept biting my nails until Allan and the last band came in. So, I think I don’t receive love very well. I should be happy with what love Buzz Night has to offer me, and not expect too much. Love is unconditional, but as yet, I fail to practice this.
3. Was I able to see both of us as innocent, regardless of our actions?
Not really. As you see, I’m still beating myself up over it. Myself, Buzz Night, etc.
4. If I could do it over, what would I do differently?
For one thing, I would have relaxed more. Maybe I shouldn’t have pressured Tenderpiss to come early, since I ended up placing them at the end of the night, anyway.
I also wish that Ralph had actually come to Buzz Night and not just disappeared. I remember that February gigs had been discussed at our last practice at Alberto’s, and the dates were posted in this blog, so I see no reason why he didn’t show up that night. He may have been busy, but he hadn’t texted us so. Ayn took time out to come, but we weren’t able to play. That was disappointing.
5. If I could do it over, what would I do the same?
Bagetsafonik gave a great set. They have a full band setup now and they’ve added to their existing songs. I really enjoyed them.
Bagetsafonik
Also, Tenderpiss has improved a lot. Our last gig with them was at Freedom Bar, and they weren’t very strong there, but their Buzz Night set was more together and you could get a sense of what they were trying to do. Archaster was also good--- a bit of nostalgia from early Buzz Night days.
The Superminty set was great, too, even if we played late into the night. Kalat pa kami, pero we’re working on it.
6. How did I feel about myself when I was with this person?
All in all, it was ok. I felt nervous at first, but I relaxed at the end. It was good to see the gang again and hear good music. We ate at Kebab afterwards, and that was great, but I was so tired from lack of sleep that I went on ahead to Ayn’s van and took a nap until we all went home.
Dennis, Erick and Ayn at post-buzz Mister Kebab
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I wonder what this month is going to be like, especially since it’ll be on the eve of Holy Thursday. I’m just glad that Allan gets to take the reigns again, since he’s free that night.
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