Saturday, August 30, 2003

hello! I'm here at Ayn's house waiting until we have to go to Buzz Night. Spent the afternoon with her and Tristania. It was fun. she's soooo cute! sorry na lang yung mga hindi pa nakakakita sa kanya...

oh well, ayn, I did say I was tight-assed then, didn't i? ;) anyway, we all enjoyed it after all. and the raising eyebrows thing, well, I told you it wasn't you (and I'm letting everyone who reads this know, too).

wala rin akong masusulat kasi wala namang nangyaring candy-related sakin this past week. Nanood lang ako ng Keka, and I heard the Bean Bag song in the background hehehe. Actually, I didn't even recognize it... until I heard that "OH, you snore so louuuud" part. Unmistakably Allan's gay voice hehe. joke.

Tomorrow, Allan promises to take candyaudioline out to a movie. yehey!wala lang... yun lang ang masusulat ko.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

I'll let you know asap kung makapunta ako sa inyo sa Friday. Hopefully maaga matapos ang meeting ko on that day. Kung matutuloy ako, try ko isama sila Mia if they're free. Try niyo rin ni Chris makadaan sa amin on Saturday to visit my lovely daughter. He he.. Kung libre kayo.

Ehem... I was the one who brought up the "Nymphets" thing on air. I just thought that maybe it could liven up our discussion that's why I did that. I brought that up during the time when everyone inside the booth was on "dead air." Francis was sort of begging us then to speak up because he didn't know how to start the interview and I distinctly remember hearing him say, "C'mon guys please speak up..." and "Nymphets" was the first thing that came to mind. I never thought of our Nymphets escapades as something too private to mention to other people (perhaps you've forgotten that we mentioned that during our PULP interview months ago and it was ok for all of us). Besides, the way I brought it up wasn't done in a manner that would make listeners cringe or think of us as perverted bastards. And it did liven up the discussion even for just two minutes. I didn't know that you would feel that way about it. Far as I know, the whole interview went ok except maybe for the part where we all felt bad about how crappy our EP sounded on air. All of a sudden, I feel sick about myself. So what else made you raise your eyebrow?
Hello, peeps. As you all know, we went on “In The Raw” last night on NU 107. We were sharing the booth with Soft Pillow Kisses, Spring Boutique, and Popular Days, mostly because we all share some members. Let me just show a lineup to give you an idea:

Candyaudioline
Ayn
Roel
Ralph
Me
Allan

Soft Pillow Kisses
Allan
Louie
Lara
John Paul
Charles

Popular Days
Charles
John Paul
Eric
***

Spring Boutique
Charles
John Paul
Lei
Antz

This caused Francis Reyes to dub the episode “Allan Montero In the Raw Night”. He was pretty overwhelmed by our number at first, but he knew how to handle us after a while. It was confusing for us, too… Allan didn’t want us to go one by one because it would seem too serious of us, when most of had already been on the show before. He wanted it to be something like “Here we are with our new songs and we just want to have fun on the air”. Uh-huh.

It was ok. It was pretty weird in the booth because we were all cracking jokes and people kept taking pictures… basta ang gulo namin talaga! But I was surprised to hear part of the taping afterwards because we didn’t seem as noisy as we really were in the booth. Well, for those of you who listened, you know how it turned out. All in all, it was a fair episode. I think everyone enjoyed it a lot.

Call me anal, but I had some problems about last night. I remember months before when someone suggested that we do “In The Raw” along with Popular Days and Allan said something like, “Magmamanyakan lang tayo dun… huwag!” Well, that’s what happened last night. I mean jokes are ok and all… but I just wish nobody had mentioned Nymphettes or Romeo’s or whatever. I like them as private jokes, but for us to bring it up on the air was just plain too crass for me. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE Popular Days and all our other friends from indie bands who patronize those places. I just didn’t think Nymphettes was appropriately mentioned last night. And of course, there were other things that were put into focus last night that made me raise my eyebrows. I will not elaborate.


The preceding thoughts were written the morning after our NU guesting. However, I now feel that it was great. We did have fun, after all, and people were given a chance to hear the new stuff we had produced since the last album. Now they know we haven’t been sitting on our asses :)

One thing depresses me, though. Allan and Ralph got to hear how our songs sound on the radio, and they both were disappointed. We all feel that the finished product doesn’t come close to how we had originally envisioned the songs. Because of this, they’re actually considering not releasing the EP anytime soon. Boohoo. I talked to Allan about it. I asked him why not, when we all had agreed to release it even if it wasn’t up to par, and THEN do well on the next release. He said, “I understand how you guys still aren’t thinking on the band level and want to release the EP just to be able to tell people that we’ve produced something. But in the long run, if we release it now knowing it’s not good, you’ll be regretting your decision. It’ll hurt to turn out something mediocre now.” And we saw his point, even if it depressed us. It’s true… the guitars weren’t given the emphasis we had wanted. And the drums sound sucky (not entirely Roel’s fault). So now, we’re wondering what to do. Should we record them again? That would be hell on our pockets (Allan’s and Ralph’s) and we don’t know how soon we’ll be able to release it after that. Should we have it remixed at this place Allan knows? That would be expensive AND time consuming for sure. We’re trapped by our own perfectionism… at the same time, we’re not really sorry that we are. This is the way we think.

Meanwhile, you can download the current versions of our 4 songs somewhere on Soulseek (I think Ralph put them there). Time will tell about the EP…
I watched it. Nakakatawa si Allan dun: "Sana...*sniff*... manalo kayo." hwehehehe.

I just posted an answer to albertaspaghetti's very patronizing email in the egroups. sigh. it's tiring.

candymates, punta kayo sa bahay namin on friday night. birthday ng friend ko, so magpapainom siya. since bahay ko naman, she's letting me invite friends. punta kayo.

buzz night is on the 30th! punta kayo!
Nakakainis! Hindi ko napanuod yung "game ka na ba" andun pala si allan. Akala ko naman kasi hindi totoo. Sayang tulog ako nung mga panahon na yon.

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Personally, Ayn, you don’t have to worry about apologizing because I think you’re right. If you only knew there were persons from Narda on our mailing list, I’m sure you would have expressed your opinion in a more palatable manner… hindi ka rin naman kasi bastos, ‘di ba? Just opinionated ;) And that’s fine. Anyway, I re-read your post about Katwo and I think that person who reacted got it out of context a little… you said nakakahiya siya kung siya yung nagging vocalist ng candyaudioline. In a way, totoo naman yun in the sense that she may be too flamboyant for the band. Your comment was said in that context and you didn’t mean it as an attack on her person. But I feel that it was admirable of you to apologize just because it shows you’re civilized and care about what our listers think. Kailangan din naman natin silang respetuhin kasi they made the first step in reaching out to us by signing up for our mailing list. Pero siyempre, we can only do so much… we don’t have to bow down to their every complaint. I wrote that “prerogative” thing to remind everyone in the list that we are all entitled to express our opinions on the list, which necessarily means we have to take everything that’s said there with a grain of salt. If you want to apologize for what you say, that’s well and good… but people who demand it must also accept circumstances if you don’t. It just so happened that you did apologize… well, that helps public relations. In our mailing list, we practice pluralism hehe. We can’t help but do so because we chose an open membership. Marami tayong pananaw dun dahil iba-iba yung mga musical tastes natin. I didn’t write that to chastise you or that other person. It’s a reminder meant for all members.

Ok lang yun. Mailing list lang yun hehehe… astig nga kasi kahit papano active yung satin, tapos semi-intelligent discussion pa!
Some debate (?) is going on in our mailing list regarding the term indie. So what else is new? This dude commented that "it's funny, it's all about play on semantics." What's not? Dear, in our generation nothing escapes from semantics. If some people can't get or accept the "facts" that were given on our list, that's their problem. Too bad for them. Then there's this other dude who remarked that I should have kept some of my opinions to myself regarding Narda. Stupid of me that I apologized for that. I shouldn't have. Selena was right: It's our prerogative to say anything we want and it's our prerogative too if we want to apologize for it. We can say anything we want in there. It's OUR mailing list. Again, Selena was right. They can unsubscribe any time they want, for all I care. Besides, there were no intentions on my part to diss that band in their faces. How should I know that some of the members or their friends signed up to our list? Most of them don't talk there. If I knew that they were there, I wouldn't have said things that I normally wouldn't say in presence of people who I was pertaining to (except for one Mayric's incident). Sheesh.

Friday, August 22, 2003

haha... oo nga, ayn.

ok talaga tayo these days. para tayong born again hwehehe...

wish ko lang na di ako okrayin sa mailing list tungkol sa indie comments ko.
Astig kagabi. Anlaki ng katawan. Di ako makatulog.
ayos kagabi ano? ang saya saya... sana laging ganun. d ko tuloy namalayan na sobrang galing na natin... hehehe...nakakamiss din ang SONNET LVIII... hope tuloy tuloy na sila... i'm also happy na along has done away with his drug problems. wish i could say the same for my ASPIRIN drummer allan... i think i should begin to accept the fact that ASPIRIN will remain a myth forever. ang STONE ROSES nakapag-second album pa. ang THE CHARLATANS buhay pa rin and still continue to thow in surprises everytime they release an album. eh ang ASPIRIN, ayun watak watak... sana d nalang ako naging mayabang dati (at least 2 new songs every gig for the first 8 months of the band). ngayon namomroblema ako kung paano ko marerecord yung 46 song na ginawa ko dun... dapat pala pinatulan ko nalang yung offer ng ALPHA sa amin nun eh ang laking pera pa naman... hay naku, lagi nga namang nasa huli ang pagsisise...

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Hoy hoy hoy hoy hoy hoy! Ang saya kagabi, kaya lang bitin. Allan and Roel had to rush off to Mayric’s and Ralph and Ayn had to be ready for school/work the next day. I had to go home and get some rest. Tonight, we’ll be one of the last to play.

Ayn and I were the latest to arrive at Kafe. We had to set up almost immediately, which made the both of us nervous. But Allan showed us the printout he made of our recent blog entries and we all started laughing over it. Roel was indignant at all the fun we were poking at him (but I think he also loves the attention). Ralph said he’ll be posting something soon. God. This is turning into a really weird blog. Guess we’re making up for lost time.

We had a good set, in spite of my little piyoks hehe. We sang “All Smiles” and “Can’t Sleep”—the people looked like they enjoyed them, and it was good to sing those old songs again. It was a different candyaudioline last night, and I think we were all more relaxed and enjoying it than usual. We had to leave soon after, though.

The Matilda girls were outside with Jovan, their manager. ALL of them, even Meh! It was good to see her looking fully recovered. Ralph took our pictures.

So… I hope we have more fun tonight. Don’t forget to catch us there. Sonnet LXVIII will be there, so you know you’ll have a good night.

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Natatawa ako he he he he!!! Ayos ah... am i such an inspiration or what... basta kita kita nalang tayo later!!!
HAHA! Nagkakabukingan na tayo kung ano yung opinion natin sa isa’t isa…

Pero, astig. Siguro nawe-weirduhan na yung mga tao satin. Ganito pala ang candyaudioline.

See you tonight!
Since si Roel hindi naman nagco-contribute dito, I just decided na ako na ang mag type tungkol sa kanya. Here goes….

I met Roel sometime end of 2000 sa Verve Room. I was with two of my friends from the goth scene (Annejo and her boyfriend that time, Aids of Prominence of Cathedrals). We went there for a couple of drinks. Then this kanto-boy/amay looking dude approached our table. He showed us this piece of paper with list of CD’s that his friend was selling. I then thought, “Ah waiter pala to. Ayos ah nagbebenta rin ng CD’s. Siguro utusan ni Hank”. Hank was the part-owner of Verve Room and is now part of the management of the new Big Sky Mind. I think. Anyway, as this dude approached us, he said, “Hi! Ako si Roel. Mahilig ba kayo sa mga Gothic (he pronounced it as gotik)?” We then answered hesitantly, “Uh… bakit?” Tapos sabi ni Roel, “Kasi nagbebenta friend ko ng mga CD’s baka interesado kayo.” He then showed us the list of CD’s, “Ayan o, may Theatre of Tragedy, mga gothic compilation, ayan o diba.” My friends and I looked at each other and smirked. We got the piece of paper anyway.

Months after, the first goth gathering after how many years (the last one was 1995) was held at Ritual de lo Habitual. I went there with my friends and their bands who were playing for that night. I saw Roel again. I was surprised and thought, “Bakit andito yung waiter ng Verve?” Then I saw Hank. Ah baka sinama lang ni Hank. This time mukha talagang waiter si Roel with his white poet shirt and black vest. Then nagulat ako when Five Wounds played. I think that was their first gig sa goth gatherings so people were waiting for their set. Roel played lead guitars for the band. Naisip ko ulit, “Aba ang waiter marunong pala mag gitara. With matching feel na feel looks pa.” He was doing that “lip thing” that he’s doing now while playing drums with Candyaudioline.

A couple of months passed by again then there was another goth gathering in Makati at a place called Bistro 101 (if I got the name right). Nung set na ng banda ni Roel nun, he was carrying his guitar papuntang stage. Ako naman, I was thinking na familiar mukha niya. I thought at first na baka kabanda ng Skies of Ember (that night was Skies’ first gig sa goth gatherings) so I waved at him and told him, “Good luck sa set niyo ha.” Tapos ngiti naman sha. Later I learned na dinagukan sha ng gf niya that time kasi akala baka nakikipag landian sa kin.

I was drunk that night and when the gig ended and Roel with his minions were about to leave, I told him, “Hey I know you, right?!” He answered, “Yeah! Verve Room right?!” Aba nag English si mokong. Dun ako naging sure na Five Wounds pala yung band niya (weeks later their drummer became my boyfriend).

The next day, my friend who happens to be ½ of the organizer for the goth gatherings called me up telling me that guys from Five Wounds wanted to get my number. He was asking me if it’s ok with me. I told him it’s ok and he answered, “Are you sure?” then he told me stuff about Roel. My friend didn’t give them my number but in some other way Roel and their drummer still managed to get my number from someone else. God, these people were desperate.

During my first conversations with Roel over the phone and through text, there were many times na pa-away ang mga sinasabi niya. I wondered, “bat pa ko tinatawagan kasi nito.”

We were able to hang out at this Consortium event. I was supposed to be on a date with their drummer and was very irritated that it was Roel who kept on talking to me. Ang kulit! So I decided to leave their group and just hang out with Dott and some people from Buzznite na nakita ko dun.

Dumaan ang madaming buwan…. I was already going steady with their drummer. Roel learned that I play for some indie band. It was funny because everytime I attended their rehearsals, dadating sha in full indie get-up. (As if I’d be impressed by that)

Tapos dumating yung time when Candy was desperate for a drummer. Since we were so desperate, Allan tried asking my then boyfriend to play for us during one Buzznite. Eh nagkataon kasama ng bf ko si Roel at narinig ang pinag-uusapan, ayun at sumingit si Amay at sobrang excited sa pagsabi, “Ako nalang!”

Pumayag ako since I don’t want to be bandmates with anyone na ka steady ko. Besides, my boyfriend was telling me before na ok daw pumalo si Roel when he was still with bands like Apostate and Barang. I believed him. At first hindi ok yung practice namin with Roel pero ayos lang since hindi pa naman sha familiar sa songs.

Nowadays, nagtataka lang ako kung ano na nangyari sa kanya. But I’m still proud of him. There are some gigs na ok talaga sha, even if there are more gigs na nasisira ang set because of him too.

Yun yung story ni Roel. But I think it would be better kung makuha natin yung side niya.

+++++++

Kay Ralph naman, Joey had to quit Candy because of me. That was before Roel came in. At first, si Jerome ng Daydream at Teeth ang nag guitar for Candy pero nawalan na rin ng gana later on. Again, because of me. Bwahahahaha!

Anyway, marami kaming options nun. Isa dun si Diego ng Monsterbot. Sabi ni Allan fan daw ng candy si Diego pero ayaw ni Allan na sha sana ang pumalit kay Joey. Ako naman since I thought that Diego looks cute and all, I was hoping na sha nalang para naman magkaron ng pogi sa banda. Eh ayaw talaga ni Allan. Then he started texting us na nakahanap na sha ng permanent guitarist. Friend daw niya. Una kong tanong, “pogi ba?” Sabi ni Allan ok lang. Since wala naman talaga akong control sa decisions ni Allan, bahala nalang talaga.

Unang practice namin with Ralph, I was a bit disappointed because he didn’t look as cute as I expected him to be. So tinanong ko nalang, “Ano mga pinapakinggan mo?” He answered (na parang irritable pa na kinukulit ko sha), “Parokya.” Naisip ko, “Nyek. Patay.”

He played well for a first practice. But I still tried persuading Allan into getting Diego instead of him. Allan insisted na ok si Ralph, at kung tutuusin mas marunong pa yan kay Diego basta lang ma familiarize sha sa genre ng Candy. And he was so right.

I know there was even this one time when I complained to Allan that Ralph’s guitar style was “so Parokya”. Nagalit sakin si Ralph nun. Take note, sa sobrang gago ko, sa akin nagalit sa Ralph. To think, if it weren’t for that instance never talaga nagagalit si Ralph ng ganun.

Di nagtagal, I was proven wrong. Now, Ralph is the source of pride for Candyaudioline.
Ayos ah. Reminiscing mode tayo. I met Allan through IRC. Channel ng Ateneo. That was mid-2000. During the time when I just quit some mediocre UP band that thinks Smashing Pumpkins is the best band in the world. I was made to quit because some faggot by the name of Pog wanted to snatch my position. I gave in and quit. They sucked anyway. Out of frustration, I just auditioned for 2 all-girl riot gurl bands that time, Apian and Anemia. My peers who share the same type of music that I really like were very worried about me because I kept on joining bands that play something I don't really like. Truth is, I just wanted to be in a band. Thing is, they all happen to play something I don't like. I promised myself then that I will never join a band that won't fit me. What more indie?

Anyway going back to me and Allan. He posted, "WHO WANTS TO BE A VOCALIST FOR A BAND CALLED SOFT PILLOW KISSES." Ako naman, I saw what he posted by accident. I was just waiting for an old friend to enter the channel then I saw Allan's post. I know I've heard of SPK somewhere so I decided to trip on Allan because I was sure that their type of music was something that I will never like. So I macked him. I asked him what type of music they're playing. He said "indie". I answered, "Oh ok. Well I don't know shit about indie." Then I closed the window. Allan was persistent. He asked, "So what type of music are you into?" I replied, "something dark", thinking that he wouldn't know shit about what I'm really into anyway. Ang bilis mag reply ni Allan, "Ah goth." I was surprised that he knows what I'm talking about. I said yes, then closed the window again. Tapos ayan na naman sha, "How old are you?" Sagot ulit ako, "18." I was thinking then, "tangina to ah. Hindi ba niya pansin na hindi ako interesado?" Then on second thought naisip ko why won't I give it a shot. I've always wanted to sing for a band. I've tried it only once years ago for a band that covers Cranberries and Lisa Loeb (kakahiya no) so why not try it again? Eh si mokong humirit, "nga pala I also have another band. we're looking for a bassist." Since he mentioned the word bassist, dun agad napunta attention ko. I said, "Ako. bassist nalang!" So yun.

Allan and I talked over the phone first. He let me listen to Candy's first release "Paint Your Silver Smile." First reaction? "Yaak. Tang ina parang Fatal Posporos. Yak talaga." Then he mentioned something like, "Ayn sige, alis nako we still have a basketball game with guys from Greyhoundz and Parokya and Teeth." Inisip ko, "pucha bigtime tong gagong to ah."

Days after, we met up in UP. Sa tambayan ng org ko. He was with AJ. I was thinking na baka pogi sila (ganda ng boses ni Allan sa phone eh) at baka ma disappoint lang pag nakita ako. So I played hide and seek with them (sort of). Nagtago ako sa table when they arrived. Nung nakita ko na pangit pala sila, dun nako naging confident. Inisip ko rin, "ah wala wala lang yung banda nito." Allan gave me a tape for me to listen to. Pagtingin ko, naisip ko ulit, "Yak yellow yung cover. Ang baduy. At bat ganito mga title ng kanta. Yak talaga. Pero ayos ha, may pa tape-tape pa silang nalalaman."

I was already thinking that it was a big mistake that I decided to audition for them. See, it wasn't just Candy who thought na big mistake ang nangyari. Ako rin. Mutual yon.

To loosen all the tension, I invited them for drinks. Allan suggested that we go to 70's Bistro. I said, "ok. sige 70's." and I let them lead the way. Truth is, I haven't been to 70's Bistro that time! I let myself get drunk, mainly because I was so nervous about everything. About joining them and all. Not only because I thought they sounded stupid but also because I noticed that they were really serious about the band. That time, I also sensed the friction between me and AJ. I already knew that he didn't like me at all. Well, I didn't like him either but still decided to become friendly with him and ask him about stuff that he's into. Thing is, ako pala ang mali. He suddenly started talking about me behind my back. He thought I was tripping out on him but I wasn't! Naging grabe pa when I offered him a gum. Akala niya, I did that because I thought he had bad breath.

Anyway, fast forward to first practice. I sucked big time. They all thought that I'm already familiar with the songs because Allan gave me a tape. Truth is, I only listened to it once kasi di ko na kaya talaga pakinggan. I only liked "Flaming Walls" and "We've Been There" because they're catchy songs. Up to this day, yun parin ang gusto ko lang sa tape na yon. Main reason why I hate playing the old songs.

Si Allan, natiis ako. My first gig was at some University Gym somewhere in Manila. Na shock naman ako. Tang ina ang daming tao for a first gig. I did well that night but I sucked for the next gigs. My being a sucky bass player went on for more than a year. I was worse than Roel, would you believe. Pano ba naman, aside from not being familiar with the songs, I listen to Dead Can Dance, Therion and Diabolical Masquerade pag papunta sa gigs. Siempre pag tutugtog na, nakalimutan ko na songs ng Candy. ( I know I still do that nowadays pero minsan lang)

Sometime mid-2001.... It was during the night when Candy gave birth to "Better View" that I started playing better and Candy got what they really deserve from a bassist. The rest is history.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Okay, sorry! My apologies to Lara and the real first candyaudioline bassist.

Thank you, Allan, for that history lesson. Even I learned something from it. Now we all know that the band is really a front for you to meet girls. Shucks.

You know, it’s funny because I actually had the same idea (not the one about meeting girls). I was thinking of putting my first experience with candy on this blog. Here goes:

Ayn and I have this mutual friend, Mia. I had already been introduced to Ayn before at Big Sky Mind but I didn’t get to talk to her much after that. At Big Sky, I was drunk and I asked her if I could have some of her beer—I promptly took a swig… she just had this amused look on her face. Afterwards, Mia told me that I had a death wish because Ayn NEVER likes anyone touching HER beer. I kept that in mind. Ayn is always so quiet around new people (at least, when she’s not drunk or feeling like tripping on other people hehehe), and I was a bit intimidated by her gothicity(!), so I left her alone whenever we got the chance to drink with Mia. One night, Mia invited both of us to drink with her at a nearby carinderia. Ayn was telling Mia that their vocalist just quit, and then she turned to me and asked, “Do you sing?” I was surprised, but I said yes. She invited me to her band’s practice that Sunday and said that they played indie music. My corresponding thought was, “Whatever THAT means…” and then I said, “Um… okay. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try. Sure, I’ll be there.” So we had a date. Incidentally, that was also the night Ayn dropped the bombshell of her being pregnant on us, but that’s another (very interesting) story…

So Ayn picked me up Sunday night and we headed on to Mang Sam’s. I remember dressing up to look my best (para good impression, hehe). I was very nervous, but I was pleasantly surprised by Ayn’s solicitous behavior towards me. She talked a lot about the band, I guess to prepare me for the weirdness. But nothing prepared me for the sight that first greeted me as I stepped out of Ayn’s car.

There were three men who approached the car, none of whom looked like the type of bandmates I imagined Ayn had. I had always thought Ayn’s bandmates would be young, cool, cute, college boys… the ones who approached were obviously older; one looked like a weird version of Marvin Agustin, one had long hair and looked like, um, someone you would avoid when walking down the street, and the last looked like the Kingpin, if he were Filipino and couldn’t afford spiffy suits. I could feel myself starting to rehearse a “Sorry-but-I-don’t-think-I-can-do-it” speech in mind as Ayn introduced me to Gilbert, Roel and Allan. I was scared out of my wits.

Ayn told me that Gilbert was a member, with Allan, of Soft Pillow Kisses, a band whose songs were being played sometimes on NU 107. I hadn’t heard of them. Inside, I was introduced to Ralph and Charmaine… they looked more like band people, but still not the type I’d associate with Ayn. Allan gave me his discman to listen to the songs. I found them catchy, but the accent weirded me out. Still, I thought they were pretty original, and I wanted to see if I could do it. He then proceeded to teach me ELEVEN (11) songs. God. I was so afraid of him that I pushed myself to learn them all. I think he was so excited that we were going at such a fast pace. He struck me then as very businesslike.

By the end of the night, I had a better idea of what candyaudioline was, but I was starting to have serious doubts as to whether I could stay up that late and handle the workload. I asked Allan if this was going to be an everyday thing… he and Ayn said, no, it wasn’t going to be hectic, at all. They seemed to think I was satisfactory, so they kept me. They asked me if I was ready to go in a few days because they had a gig lined up… I quickly declined and asked for another practice before I could perform. They agreed and said I could sing the gig after the next, which was the EP launch of Skies of Ember at Club Sex.

I went home that night feeling really tired. I didn’t think I was going to like being in a band, but I wasn’t completely sure of that, either. Chris urged me all week to give it a try. I arrived at our second practice feeling reluctant and apprehensive. Allan kept correcting me the whole night. Normally, I wouldn’t have minded, but I was thinking that if he had so many problems with the way I sang, why didn’t he just drop me. I was starting to get frustrated and embarrassed. I was especially peeved at him saying that I had a “p and f” problem (interchanging the sounds when I pronounce certain words). I kept telling him it was because of the braces I had then, that I was still getting used to them. We even had a debate about the way I pronounced the word “common”, which I thought I pronounced very well. I think he wanted me to say kah-min, which to me, sounded like an exaggerated American accent. Haha… it’s funny to think of it now. He wasn’t being mean, but his comments didn’t help my insecurity at that point. Suddenly, I broke down crying in the middle of a song while he was teaching me one-on-one. He was flummoxed… he panicked and asked me what was wrong. He kept apologizing. I told him it wasn’t his fault. I was just feeling vulnerable and under pressure. I even told him about my carnap experience from the month before. I told him everything in my life was just piling up at that moment. He decided to give me a break then and apologized for making me miserable with his perfectionism.

We went outside to join the others. He told them I had cried! At first, I was embarrassed, but he started laughing about it and teasing me… and he also assured me that I shouldn’t feel pressured by him because he only thought I could very well take all that work. At that moment, I realized he wasn’t really out to get me or anything and that this was all supposed to be fun. I relaxed after that and actually had fun hanging out with them.

Now, I’m so grateful that I didn’t chicken out when Ayn asked me to be candy’s vocalist. I’m so happy that I didn’t let Allan’s anal retentive nature (oh yes, maybe this says something about his sexuality, too, hehe… joke lang, Allan! Peace!) scare me away. I’m so relieved that I didn’t judge the books by their covers (because, I’m not a judge)… HAHAHA! Suffice it to say, I love my band. The people are great and the experiences are such a laugh. Really. Para kaming comedy film.

I just got a message that we’re not going to practice tonight. Aww, shucks. No “It’ll Never Last” cover for us. No hanging out, either. Boo.
hi

here's a bit of history for my current bandmates and for those who care about candyaudioline.

candy's first bassist was a girl from up named obie. she happened to be one of my closest friend at that time ('97). by early '98 she was replaced by bing who was recommended by romel of sonnet 58. not much of a pretty face but she was definitely a real bassist unlike obie who was more of magazine pin-up figure than a band material.

by middle of '98, bing quit the band after candy's first "in the raw" appearance. (she later admitted that she was only after radio exposure) she was later replaced by then 15 year-old beejay who at that time had no idea on how to play the bass but got admitted into the band for three reasons: one - she owns one of the most visually attractive and ultra-light bass guitar with one of the coolest brand names (megabass) ever, two - this girl is very pretty and ooozzing with sex appeal and three - yours truly had a very big crush on one of her friends. she had a short stint as candy-bassist because she was to migrate to the states. this signalled the return of obie who at that time , really improved on her skills. first as a sessionist bassist then decided to join in as things were beginning to shape up for the band. that didn't last long because after 3 months, she decided to quit the band (along with our original vocalist) to concentrate with her studies. beejay was taken back in because her magration was still up in the air and she didn't enrolled that school year. a month later obie returned along with cheng. beejay and then new candy vocalist apol got booted out. not wanting to get separated from beejay and specially apple, yours truly decided to form another band which eventually became soft pillow kisses. that was '99. candy (and pillow) never had line-up problems from that time until early 2000 when obie decided again to leave the band for good due to commitment problems. lara was introduced to me by a friend but before that me and beejay already saw lara playing guitars for then up and coming YUCKPOP quintet _________. she played bass for candy for about a year or so before quitting the band for reasons beyond the grasp of human comprehension. beejay sessioned once in while until yours truly met ayn through irc chat. admittedly we thought that getting ayn was a mistake because aside from her being drunk 25 hours out of a 24 hour day. she was then very slow in learning some of the songs (one of the reasons why joey quit the band). i stuck out with her anyway because aside from the free rides she offers, her attitude towards the band was really heart warming. she was all-out for candy. well it paid off, 5 months into candy ayn was really letting lose. contributing not only in money and transpo but also putting in her own bass lines at that... at present, she's still there and hopefully will be there until the time that we decide to end candyaudioline and focus on our being EATFREAKS... HEHEHE.

by the way, during the latter part of ayn's pregnancy, we got the services of sonia. she played three gigs for candy two as bassist and one as singer. she now sing for a ska band whose name i can't recall...

ayus bah?

Monday, August 18, 2003

Lara was not the original bassist. If I'm not mistaken, she's second. She replaced Obie. And I replaced her. That makes me the third (or fourth If I didn't get that right).

Yep, last night's the best practice we've had.

Good karma good karma.
We just had the best practice we have had together since we completed this lineup of candyaudioline last year. This was last night, of course. Ayn picked me up at around 9 pm… we arrived there and found Charles and John Paul, Jeff indie and Ants and the vocalist of Spring Boutique. They said Allan was inside one of the rooms, teaching Louie (the new SPK vocalist) some songs. Ralph and Lara arrived soon after… since candy wasn’t complete yet, Spring Boutique decided to make use of the studio first. Roel was nowhere to be seen.

We talked outside for a while. I was so glad to be around candymates again. We were already getting worried about time passing, so we went inside the other room and started practicing even without drums. We all agreed that we should start playing some of the old songs so that we wouldn’t seem one-dimensional. It was great. It was so refreshing to go back over candyaudioline’s discography. The semi-practice served as rehearsal for acoustic sets, too, so the time didn’t entirely go to waste. It was actually funky after a while because Lara decided to jam with us on the drums… I think she still remembers how some of the drum lines go from her old job as the first candy bassist. It was really fun, even without Roel, but of course we were a little bothered that we couldn’t really launch into full blast without him on the drums.

Right after we finished, Roel arrived. We were all, “Oh well… what else is new?” and he kept apologizing (we later found out that he had been delayed because he finished watching the telecast of the Filipinas Awards on MTV!). Ayn suggested we go eat at Pares again, but Allan said that we should wait for him to finish with Pillow. So we waited again. It wasn’t so bad; we had a lot of catching up to do, actually. Ralph and Ayn were worried, though, that it was getting late as they both had school/work the following morning. We considered practicing, the four of us (without Allan), jus to make use of Roel’s presence, only we realized we had no money to pay for the extra studio use. Fortunately, Allan decided to cut Pillow practice short and to make use of the last half hour for a complete candy practice.

Ok… so there we were… we told Roel we’d like to do all the old songs, and he was obviously pleasantly surprised at the change. Aba—ang galing namin! We were focused, but also having fun. And we were tight! Allan said to Roel, “Ikaw ba yan?” We were absolutely DELIGHTED with him last night. It was funny because Roel was all blushing and humble when we kept complimenting him. Hah! But we were really happy with those 30 minutes. Allan was planning to practice only 4 songs, but since we performed flawlessly, we were able to play around 8. We were even able to perfect our cover of “Today”. We stepped out of the studio feeling exhilarated. Ralph said, “Ok lang magpa-late, basta sulit ang practice!” At that moment, it felt really good to be part of the band.

We all headed on to Partners Pares near Millenia. Surprise! Roel decided to come along! We all fattened ourselves and our egos up. Ang sarap. It seemed a pity to break the party up at 3 am. Jeff was telling Ayn that we should drink at her house, but she had class a few hours later and everyone was unmistakably tired. We went home feeling excited about Wednesday’s performance. Tuesday, we’re practicing again just to make sure our good karma takes full effect.

I love my band! Group huuuuuuuuuuuuuug… *snicker, snicker*

Sunday, August 17, 2003

All right. I can finally update the blog promptly because I have fixed my computer. I haven’t been this hands-on with the computer since 2000.

Last night, I had dinner with Chris in Katipunan. It was 7 pm and I needed to get home badly in order to change and study some of the SPK songs for the Moonstar 88 bar tour at Streetlife. We waited and waited under the rain with only a poncho to hold over our heads. I think we must have been there for half an hour before a taxi finally came and took pity on us. I got really wet and I was afraid that my usual sniffles were going to worsen because of that. I dressed and contacted Allan for details about the gig. Charles ended up fetching me at around 9:15 pm… John Paul was with Allan coming from the Moonstar gig in Pampanga and they were supposed to pick Lara up. Charles and I arrived at Glorietta before some of the important Backbeat people. Allan and the rest arrived 15 minutes later.

It was ok. I thought I did a good job because the sound system was better… I could hear my voice clearly while I was singing. Only, Roel approached us afterwards and said my voice was too soft. Allan said the monitor onstage was loud, so we couldn’t have realized whether we were singing loud enough or not. Sayang. Allan told me Acel of Moonstar commented that we sang well, but she said it was a pity that I wasn’t really moving onstage. He told her that that’s really the way he likes it when Pillow performs. Thanks, though, Acel :)

Ralph and Ayn texted us during while we were waiting for the event to finish. Ralph was telling us that we had some durian all the way from his General Santos farm. He wanted us to pick it up after the gig. Ayn was sulking because we hadn’t invited her to the tour. Sorry, Ayn!!! I honestly thought you were too busy this weekend because of your short film, so I thought it more polite not to ask. Well, at least I mentioned my wish to see you guys on the blog, hehehe… Sayang pala, no? Anyway, after the show, Popo of Moonstar brought us to Timog so we could catch a cab to Ralph’s place. We picked up the durian and they brought me home. Allan and Charles and Melanie (this Moonstar fan who hitched with us) hung out at Ralph’s some more.

This morning, Ayn passed by the house for her share of the durian. She was with Jarek, her jogging partner. She looked cute in her jogging get-up hehehe. I suddenly realized when I was handing her the durian how little I had brought home. Even my mom finished what I left here in one sitting! To think that Ralph had said that I could get as much as I wanted… pero nahiya rin kasi ako. Sayang. Sabi pa naman ni Ralph na wala na daw… sigh.

Tonight, we have practice. I am so excited to see my candymates again! Don’t forget to pass by our gigs on the 20th and the 21st! Buh-bye!

By the way… I askd Allan last night about the EP… he said walang problema daw yun. So I guess we have to trust him about that…
candyaudioline is playing this wednesday (august 20) at KAFE, katipunan and at Mayrics on thursday (august 21) with sonnet58!!!

Saturday, August 16, 2003

In BeTWEEn Days was great… except that I had to go home early. Darn. Chris’s parents were home from the States so we had to drive over to this wholesome KTV in the Escape before going to Millenia. So you know… I was all skittish because I brought the car and Mom was texting me to come on home already. Chris was sleepy, too, but I did wish that I could have hung out with the candymates a little longer. I hope the next gig proves more conducive to bonding.

I didn’t like the mics at Millenia because no matter how loud I sang, you just couldn’t hear me… or if you could, it would be unintelligible. I don’t think it’s entirely because of the way I sing because other sound systems are fine. But, you know, I guess it might not be Millenia’s fault. Hwehehey! Did everyone read that correctly??? Yup, I’m actually defending Millenia. Well, in fairness to them, they haven’t treated me or anyone I know badly since that time. And Tiffany is nice to me, too… but, of course, I’m still shy. I’d just rather not talk much there. Sing and get it over with. You know.

That Orange and Lemons (tama ba?) band was pretty good, too… but I agree with Ayn that it just seemed too weird for me when they sang their Tagalog song with British accents. It’s almost up there with “Little Boy”. But not quite…

I’m sessioning for pillow again this Saturday at Streetlife. Pillow na naman… paano na yung candy? Boohoo. But I like singing for pillow, too, just because they have cute songs and it’s relaxing (albeit nerve-wracking). They already have someone new for vocals, but since Allan’s not that confident about her just yet, he wants me to cover for the next stint. Sana Makita ko yung ibang candy members dun… pero longshot.

Okay. I’m sleepy.
ayan... nagoff na naman. i was gonna say pray for my pc.
hey everyone! wahoo! i have internet and i have just reformatted...

kaya lang... di ko alam kung nainfect ba na naman ng pesteng blaster virus ito. sabi naman ng virus scan na specifically for blaster, wala daw. well. hope so.

MISS KO NA ANG CANDY!!!! miss ko na kayong lahat... huhuhu... allan, roel, ralph... at AYN! boohoo!

i'm just glad that i can post again. and i'm glad tha with the email of Jovy Matilda the egroups has sort of been brought back to life. sort of...

anyway, i'll post again later (literally in an hour or less) because i just wanna check mail and other stuff so i can type offline and post better updates. i miss you guys. pray for my computer's

Monday, August 11, 2003

Wala akong load ngayon so i'm posting here. Anyway, dude, nagtatampo ako sa inyo (Allan and the manyaks). Hmph. Tama ba naman na i-icha puera ako sa pagpunta sa Nymphets kagabi. Balak ko pa naman sana kumanta. Ok lang naman sakin kung gusto niyo makipag kangkangan kagabi eh. Ok lang yun. Wala lang ako kasamang babae (sa bagay puro babae naman dun eh). Ayaw sumama nila tiffany at nung sino nga ba yun.. yung tatay ng anak ni leslie? Sayang. Nasan kasi si lara pag kelangan ko sha. Si Selena naman may date. Hmph.

Anyway, nice gig last night! Astig.




Check mate,
Ayn Ruth Baudelaire +

Friday, August 08, 2003

cge ayn ok lang yun basta available tayo... tanong mo rin kung pwede ginseng for "in beTWEEn days" this sunday...

oo nga pala, eto mga gigs natin... sa saturday sa mayrics tayo bar tour ulit ng kamikazee, sa sunday in between days... yung lang muna...

bad trip yung ulan...

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Hey, Peeps! I’m not sure kung tuloy tayo this Friday kasi tinanong ko lang si Allan kung may upcoming gig tayo and he said maybe then… it’s another kamikazee bar tour thing… but he’s thinking baka hindi puwede kasi lagare yata siya nun. Anyway, basta ba namang I-text niya tayo way before.

Yes, In BeTWEEn Days is on Sunday, but he also failed to mention last night kung kasama ang candyaudioline. Siguro naman ano… and, frankly, I miss the grit of our own songs after a whole day’s worth of singing out of my nose: “I can’t believe you’d saaaaaaaaaaay…”!!!

Yesterday afternoon, Allan and Charles and John Paul and I had a call-conference and it was a surreal experience. Ang gulo nilang kausap! Nagbabastusan lang silang lahat dun hehehe… basta. Allan and I settled on a mini-playlist for my softpillowkisses session last night. I had been hoping to sing “80’s Fan” so that I have one less song to learn (he only gave me the lyrics that same morning!), but he said Lara had dibs on that already. So we settled on: Harsh Words, I Don’t Know What to Say, It Will Never Last, Stay for a While, and Bathing in the Sun. I spent the afternoon memorizing, or trying to, the songs and the tunes. Actually, it would have been fun if only I weren’t under time pressure. I like the simple lyrics and the dainty melodies… but I would have had an easier time if the songs didn’t sound so much alike. It was hard to make sense of which is which. By the time Charles and John Paul had arrived to fetch me, I was so nervous and I could hardly clutch my cheat sheets. We fetched Lara at her boyfriend’s condo, then headed on to Blue Onion.

We arrived there before Allan did. They had a fricking dress code, man… leather shoes… and “smart and stylish” dapat. My ass. It was a Moonstar 88 bar tour. Blue Ketchup did covers to a half-empty restaurant, but their familiarity attracted more customers. So it was our turn. Ang tagal ng soundcheck. Nagtatae pa yung BAGONG gitara ni Charles. Tapos nawalan sa tono yung gitara ni Allan. Lara did about 3 songs and then Allan called me. I couldn’t take the crowd. They were so quiet… and bored. I didn’t even bother “reaching out to them”, I really just stared at the Mild Seven ashtray on the table in front of the stage. Anyway, we finished. We waited for Moonstar to finish, too. There were very few people there, but I’d really have to hand it to Acel—she made them feel good.

I was really tired by the end of the night. Allan really liked our set… he said, bagay daw yung boses ko sa pillow songs. That was such a laugh. Me, of all people. So he felt like practicing. We went to Mang Jun’s. We practiced for about an hour. It was cool. But I really miss candy.

One thing I noticed about pillow… I really like their professionalism. I don’t know if it was just that night. When they practice, lahat sila focused. Although focused yung most members ng candy pag practice, parang kulang pa rin. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe it’s just my imagination.

Ok. I had fun last night. But Allan wants to make me temporary vocalist while they search for a new one. Damn. More work for me. Pero ok lang. Masaya. Ayoko lang talaga sa mga matataas na songs. It’s not me. Baka isipin ng ibang tao babae ako hehehe.
Saan ang gig this Friday. Text me asap kung tuloy at kung saan. Nga pala, I just heard that the next In between Days is this Sunday. Kasama ba tayo dun? Let me know. I got shit loads of work to do.

A friend also asked me if we can play for this UP bands thing that they're planning to organize at Millennia. It might be regular for this month, I think. Since UP students/alumni naman ang tatlo satin (plus si Roel na mejo questionable pa ang credibility), I just thought na baka puede tayo. Ano? Papatulan ba natin itong pa-gig na to?

Text-an nalang.

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

libis?!? tonight? hmmm... mukhang malapit lang a. anyway, im only 3 days into my new job and im already bored out of my wits. *sigh*

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Hello, everyone. I’m back. Medyo ayos na yung computer namin so makakapost nako… sa wakas. It’s not functioning as well as before, though. Too bad.

Anyway, who wants to hear about my computer problems? Allan called me up yesterday asking me what copies I had of Softpillowkisses songs. He was worried about the spk gig this Wednesday because he still didn’t have a vocalist. I assume Eloha can’t make it. I was a bit enthusiastic in volunteering… I don’t know why heehee. Baka kasi feeling ko kaya kong kumanta ng ganung kataas. But I told Allan to get me in case he couldn’t find anyone. It would be an experience. They’re playing in Libis this Wednesday.

There were some things missing from Ralph’s post about the last gig. There was that thing Jay said while he was performing (drunk again, as usual ;). He was about to thank the bands who had played before Kamikazee, when he noticed Ayn and me on the sidelines and he said: “Candyaudioline… ayun yung candyaudioline girls, oh… dalawa sila. Kaya lang, mag-ingat kayo sa mga yan, malalakas yan uminom. Pag lumapit kayo diyan, siguradong ubos yung pera niyo!” Shit. Nakakahiya pero nakakatawa. Yun tuloy yung impression ng Alabang crowd samin hehehe. Pero ok lang. Masaya talaga dun sa Rock Radio Café… I mean, it was an ok place to have a gig.

Oh yeah, and there was this other thing Ayn and I did. Everyone was getting ready to go home. The Backbeat entourage was one of the last to leave. While sina Allan were taking care of business, Ayn and I noticed that there was this kid (or high school –aged guy) who kept pacing around, looking at his cellphone and checking the cars cruising by. He was there so long and he was alone… Ayn and I were worried that he might be taken advantage of after we left. So Ayn and I went up to him to offer him a ride home. “Hi,” we said, “Gusto mo, ihatid ka na lang namin?” He looked at us and laughed, embarrassed. He must have thought we were nuts or drunk and really sweet, but I think napahiya siya kasi we obviously thought he was too young to be out at this time of night. But he smiled and said in this certain tone, “No, it’s ok, my car’s on its way already. And I’m only from BF,” that confirmed my suspicions that he was really older than he looked (he looked like a high school freshman). Of course, when we left, he still hadn’t been fetched, and I couldn’t help feeling a twinge of worry for the Little Boy. Oh, little booooyyyy… di you hear your mother screamiiinggg? Did you see the angels clashiiinnngg…. snicker, snicker
Then, afterwards, we ate at Partners Pares and we talked about the EP. We’re definitely going to push through with it, finally. We talked about the presentation and the bonus tracks. We’re only waiting for the funds now (promise, totoo na yan). Watch out for it in September. That truly is good news. And let us all pray that the Manyaks don’t influence Allan to spend all his money on their exploits. For the good of our music, man.

Allan says we might be playing this Friday.

Sunday, August 03, 2003

basta astig yung 2 straight na tugtog.

yung sa rock radio, it was a frustration of sorts for me since my amp had no sustain whatsoever, kahit na tinodo ko na yung reverb. even jomal lambasted the damned amp. pero ok na rin. medyo nakakailang gumalaw kasi ang sikip sa stage. nung kumakain kami sa henlin's after our set, some guys approached us and asked if we were the band that just played. we said yes. and they shot back, "galing nyo". i don't know if they were just being fake plastic trees or totoo talaga yung sinabi nila. if so, then we had a couple of new fans. hehehe. later that day, allan revealed that at least 3 persons approached him and asked when our record will come out. he thought na they were referring to SPK, so on the first 2 he said that they were still having some problems with shelflife. turns out that all the guys were asking for OUR record, so on the 3rd person, he just said, "wala pa kaming pera pang record".

ma-action din yung gig sa rock radio. some commotion happened outside the venue, which climaxed when someone broke a beer bottle on a pervert's head. figures. natapos lang nung dumating ang mga pulis at dinampot sila lahat.

then last night... music warehouse manila. i was antsy at first, then inantok. gusto ko nang tumugtog agad. we played after a showband and another band that was doing alternative covers. medyo nakakailang na naman gumalaw kasi namamatay matay yung gadget ko. damn it. kelangan ko nang bumili ng bago. anyway, i went home immediately after out set kasi antok na talaga ako.

Saturday, August 02, 2003

i'm sorry, allan. at least, his suffering has ended. i don't know if you believe in stuff like he's in a better place, but it sure helps to.

hey candy peeps. last night was great. but i can't talk much right now. downloading drivers for my motherboard so i can post more often. miss ranting my head off here.
hi!

it's been a long while since i last posted here... the problem is my keyboard... it sucks! some of the keys don't bite back...

oh well, here it goes...

a while ago (or last night) we played at Rock Radio cafe' in alabang... i think we did well judging from the reactions from the people who watched us. we did our usual safe set thanks to our inability to practice for the past few months. the place was really nice (but still, nymphets rule!) especially the crowd... wish tha someday, mayrics could host such a crowd...

wait, phone call... sorry have to cut this short... my dad just past away...