Howdy everyone...

holy midweek but it seems like hell for me for the past couple of days... well, it looks as if i'll be stuck like this for the mean time...

funny, a while ago we played a gig at mellennia and it was so strange because i felt very awkward for the first time... maybe i was just tired (work sucks as always) or maybe i'm getting old... i felt i was singing out of tune for the majority of the set... well there's always a time for a comeback... come to think of it, it was supposed to be a hundred percent fun thing... i didn't experience the fun aspect of the gig that time... maybe there's something wrong with me... maybe i'm beginning to expect something from the band... or maybe this is just a pathetic excuse for not being to write a song for candyaudioline for almost a year now... it's not like me actually... in the early days, a song would come out every now and then but now, even if i excert maximum effort, i always come out with a lousy tune... i'm getting scared of realising that all the things that i did sprung out from "tsamba" or plain stupid luck... here i go again, bathing in doubt... submerged in the idea of drying up just when things are beginning to shape up to my advantage...

enough of that for the meantime... all i ever dreamt of when i was growing up was to become a very successful basketball player... but here i am, both feet on the ground shoegazing all the time...

this is what i'm feeling right this very moment taken from a soft pillow kisses song:

no more beauty, always weary... i try to smile but i end up teary... i just won't open my eyes, for sight it depresses... depresses...depresses...

i just hope that i could get off of this depressed state the soonest possible time...