the rest of the team - exposed...

* Paper Man *

Humanoid: RJ, Aeronautics student and bassist

Planet of Origin: NA – suspended and floating in Space Dementia

Element: Earth

Super Power: “Origami Escape” – Paper Man is an expert shape-shifter able to elude the most difficult enemies. He can will his mutant cells to fold up, down, in and out to form the most intricate patterns. His best tricks are the “Paper Plane” (an effective impromptu escape vehicle for the other members of the team), “Graceful Swan” (perfect for baiting bad-ass-pimp-big-bosses), “Bangkang Papel” (for aquatic adventures) and the “Crumpled Ball” (one of the most damaging and far-reaching form of hurling weapon). Paper Man is also an expert “Drawing” – he has the power to make you believe his word and then forget all about it.

Sources of Strength: Teenage Sex & his Long, Shiny Black Hair

Weaknesses: Water & Scissors

Mode of Transport: Kite and Sumpit

Ultimate Disguise: Geisha the Creative Asian Beauty

Speed Level: defined by the air pressure

Damage Level: Precise Paper Cut

Weapons of Destruction: Portruding Collar Bone and Sneaky Moves

Hobbies: Hair Spa and Aerobics

Animal Nature: Lizard

Nemesis: Edward Scissorhands and Aquaman



* Sauna Boy *

Humanoid: Dennis, Call Centre Yuppie and guitarist

Planet of Origin: Planet Rectal

Element: Water

Super Power: “Snake Charmer Eyes” – Combined with his unruffled and composed slow mo voice, Sauna Boy’s eyes have the power to make time stand as slow and still as his choice of mental ability (or disability). When used for his own selfish carnal needs, he is able to lure poor-unknowing-above-average-“career” women in to his bed of pleasure. But, unlike Zuma, he does not prey on birhens and would rather avoid them for an unknown reason. He is also a devious “Ahas”. So men, beware…

Sources of Strength: Extra Rice and Paid Sex

Weaknesses: Pangs of Hunger and Oral Recitation

Mode of Transport: NA, an expert Belly Crawler

Ultimate Disguise: Wally the Eat Bulaga character

Speed Level: -0-

Damage Level: Articulate and Profound

Weapons: Snake Eyes and Pouting Lower Lip

Hobbies: Analysing the Complexities of Human Hardcore Porn and Pouting

Animal Nature: Sloth

Nemesis: Joel in the Palace



* Mr. J. P. Smith *

Humanoid: Ezekiel, Skater Boy and drummer

Planet of Origin: Pacong Bakya, Andromeda

Element: Fire

Super Power: “Ultra Retardo Hyper Drum Rolling” – Smith can generate and discharge deleterious noxious sparks from his smoking drumsticks through manic drum rolling. Ever the maniac, during team training, he can rupture as many ill-fated drumsticks as he can just for show.

Sources of Strength: Equal doses of Unilever products and Special Chelo

Weaknesses: Lack of Sleep and Deanna

Mode of Transport: Skateboard

Ultimate Disguise: Joey “Pepe” Smith – the Legend

Speed Level: Hyperspace Overdrive

Damage Level: too quick to gauge

Weapons: Killer Rapido Jokes and Spinning Drumstick Arnis

Hobbies: Board tricks

Animal Nature: Rabbit

Nemesis: no one as of the moment



* Agent Kodi-Go *

Humanoid: CandyMavi, Interior Decorator and vocalist

Planet of Origin: the infamous Erap City, Erap Galaxy

Element: Air

Super Power: "Selective Autism" - She possesses the exact opposite of Jean Grey's main power. Her mind (and sometimes, her whole being) can voluntarily shut out the rest of the outside world. This special power comes in handy especially when singing in front other people, as her humanoid. She hopes to trick the people watching her in to believing that she knows all the lyrics by heart. She fails from time to time. She has a cold and steely demeanor. Perfect for warding off sick bastards and dirty old men.

Sources of Strength: Big Cheeks and Hash

Weaknesses: Memorizing Lyrics and Yosi Smoke

Mode of Transport: Bridal Car for Chuckie

Ultimate Disguise: Kim Sam Soon

Speed Level: doesn't apply

Damage Level: 36”

Weapons: Talking Shoes and Swinging Big Hips

Hobbies: Rearranging Furniture and Rewriting candy lyrics

Animal Nature: Chipmunk and Hamster

Nemesis: D. O. M.s