everything is wrong...

hello everyone...

sad to say this but everything's seems to be going wrong with candyaudioline right now... so wrong that i'm thinking of... you know...

the beginning of the year started out with the prospect of continuing with the band without it's main vocalist for a limited time. say like a month or so. then, because of a slight misinterpretation of an action taken by one of the people involved, a certain reaction was taken by me which resulted in the aquisition of a new vocalist. such a move signalled a better and happier future for the band... every member was in high spirits especially me because of the quality of her voice and her eagerness to sort of "fit in with the hole idea of things" - inspite of the fact the she isn't really into this stuff and it's actually her first time to "sing" in one (although she did have a band during high school)...

we had two practice sessions prior to her debut performance last jan 13. during those sessions, we practiced with one member unable to attend because of understandable reasons... the first gig of this completely new line up was an acoustic affair at conspiracy. we played without our lead guitarist but i think we did very well and quite enjoyed that one because for me, and i guess for the first time in the whole 8 years of this band, we have a "voice" which we could be very proud of... then came buzz night the next day which was really great save for the drummer's excursions into "prog-rock via new metal style drumming"... although i was a bit affected by this, the thought of having a voice that can put more life to my songs was enough to make me smile once in a while... another practice session followed in preparation for another acoustic affair - "no drums just a box". i was really excited about this one because it was with all members present plus i was to demo a new song... inspite of our drummer's tendency to "metalize" the songs inspite of my constant plead to avoid the "metalizings" of the drum patern, it still turned out really great. specially during the acoustic part of the practice and also when the new song was completely arranged... that very next day, we played a chaotic but very enjoyable acoustic set somewhere in pasig. the guitars weren't properly tuned, i had to borrow a guitar from moonstar88. there were really long gaps between song because we had to re-tune the guitars after each song. it even came to a point that i had to give excuses to the crowd like "hindi talga ganito tugtugan namin kaya lang natalo kami sa pustahan eh"... just the same. the crowd liked us, i guess... but other things were running in my head that night... i decided to let it pass and just look forward to another gig which we were to have that monday to follow. infact, i was looking forward to that gig because it meant a lot to me. the expected crowd was big,we were to debut a new song in it's full band version and most specially, we were to debut a new and far better singer than the one we had before... i spend saturday and daytime sunday in cebu looking forward to this. "d ko nga naramdaman yung euphoria sa pagkapanalo ni paquiao over morales" . i even scheduled a midnight sunday practice just to make sure that we won't fuck up... a few hours before practice, our drummer texted me that he could not make. personal reasons, i sympathise... so another praction session went with us being incomplete again although two of my pillow mates where there to help out, naging kulitan nalang talga ang pinatunguan ng practice na yun...

monday night came... gig time... the venue was really full. i was very nervous... we went on stage... played our first song "my silver chair"... forgot to give our vocalist her cue... panic... but we were able to settle down a bit but during the instrumental part of the song, disaster struck... just because of a few extra drum notes. we tried to cover up but it was so obvious!!! next song was "better view" and it was a bit faster than usual but i just let it pass. i asked our drummer if he was okey and to stay cool and focused... then we did "flaming walls", this time i was feeling very uncomfortable. those "damned" extra drum notes again... this time i told him to just "relax and play the songs the way they were supposed to be played"... then came the new song. the execution was very diffirent from the one we practiced just a few night ago... this time i was feeling really annoyed and frustrated... just can't remember if we did played another song after that... in my mind, that thought of failing to accomplish what i was expecting was too much for me to handle... i tried to keep things to myself but i had enough. plus there were other things going through my mind that night...

after that gig, i asked my bandmates if they were still interested with candyaudioline (although my real target that time was the drummer). in fairness to our drummer, personal issues were obviously getting the better of him. but the fact that (for me) during the past couple of months, he was beginning to become a drummer that would just do as he pleases with his parts not considering that fact that it was not doing the songs any justice... since i was the one who wrote those songs, i therefore have the final say as to how should a particular element of the song be executed... he apologised and promised me that we would clean up the next time around but i still was not convinced...

i guess we (except our singer who had to go home early) all went our separate ways feeling really bad about certain things...

going home i felt really bad about what had just transpired between me and my bandmates... i wasn't aware that the worse was yet to come...

the next day, our singer and i talked over the phone about what happened between me and the three other members the night before... she gave her thoughts and insights. she made me realise that i could've been harsh on them that time...

i got to talk to my bassist the next day and to my lead guitarist the following day. i explained to them as to what i meant when i directed the "do you still want to continue..." line at them... actually, i was trying to make them help me talk some sense to our drummer but they said that "nahihiya sila"... i accepted their reason and apologised to them... i also talked to them about a bigger problem that i was facing due to my own doing which might result in the loss of a new member...

i still haven't talked to our drummer. i even ignored a text message from him two days ago. but we did texted each other yesterday. hopefully he will live up to his promise...

writing this post made me realise what a selfish jerk i've become... my focus was elsewhere making me forget that they are not only my bandmates but my friends...

... hope we could get together one of these days bago man lang mag buzz night sa saturday...

sorry talaga guys... tao lang ako...


to kel: please lang... keep your promise... mag focus ka nalang muna sa session mo sa saturday...

to arjay: di ako na-bad trip dahil di ka pwede sa practice ng pillow nung sunday, naasar lang ako dahil at the last minute mo lang cnabi na d ka pwede... i've decided to get another bassist na for pillow. if interested ka, pwede mag keyboards... by the way. sa feb 25 wala si paolo. ikaw nirecommend ko na mag session as bassist sa moonstar. nag okey na si mayshelle kagabi...

to dennis: malamang may pera ka na at puro sauna este solo flight ka ngayon...

to mavi: sori talaga...

Wala Lang...

hello everyone...

quiet pa rin kami kasi wala pa kaming pwedeng ipag-ingay... maybe next week, i'll try to be more active... i'll make more kwento na... like what's up with us, who's the new candyaudioline singer?, how's the current/newest candyaudioline incarnations doing in terms of at least trying to maintain what the former incarnations have acheived (meron ba? hehehe)... i'll also be giving out some very neat trivia stuff about our new singer, mavi... and also the usual kwento of the numerous escapades that we (candypillowpopdaysbuzzpeeps tropa) had during the past few days...

by the way, if your not doing anything tonight, candyaudioline we'll be playing and acoustic (no drumset, just a cajon) set along side moonstar88 at kamarada bar, it's located somewhere in kapitolyo, pasig... this will be a first for candyaudioline... we might also debut a new song... fresh na fresh. written last wednesday, practiced last night... ngeeengeehhehehheeeerrrr... wala pa title so i'll just show the lyrics bahala na kayo magbigay ng title...

on a saturday
you broke my heart it aches
again...

yet in many ways...
i'm still love today
i guess

silently... i'm calling
catch me please i've fallen to a pit oh don't you care...

and for sometime
you taste like vintage wine suggest
(we will be together, it will be forever)

got so surprised
the thing you said the night / the way you said goodbye...
good... bye
(we can't be together/it can't be forever)

silently... i'm calling
catch me please i've fallen
violently i'm shaken
take my hand... release me from this thing I call despair…

hello everyone...

i'd like to clear something.

there was an agreement between me and selena that our being bandmates would not be affected if ever something bad happens to our relationship...
after our break-up last december, i decided to put the band on hold until the time comes when i've gotten over the trauma of being "dumped"... although we did play on one occassion. it was an unplanned set with me doing the singing.
there was no communication between me and selena since the last time we talked to each other over the phone last december 20 lunch time in a last ditch effort to save our relationship... it was just 2 text messages. one at around 9pm of december 24 and another at around 9:40pm of december 31...
last january 10 (tuesday) while checking our blog, i noticed that she had removed her name... it gave me the idea that she had already decided to leave the band... at first i was shocked and felt very offended... i posted and in my post i said that "i'd gladly give in to whatever she's implying" which to me meant her leaving candyaudioline... angered a bit, i texted three friends of mine asking them if they'd like to sing for candyaudioline... only mavi replied... wasting no time, i gave her a cd containing 11 songs and scheduled a pratice the next day...
friday (january 13) selena texted about my not replying to her text messages... i replied telling her that the last text message i received from her was the new year's eve message... she replied saying that she texted me last jan 6 and even tried to get in touch with me through the blog... i call her up... it turned out that she asked me thru text if i was taking her out of the band... my not replying to that message prompted her to give me 2 days to reply... when the two day grace period was over, she assumed that i no longer wanted her to sing for candyaudioline. that was the time she removed her name from the blog...
selena didn't want to leave candyaudioline and neither did i. i was even willing to suffer the trauma of seeing "someone who's (until this very moment) a very important part of my life" being with another guy who she "spiritually feels" ... potah!!! but what can i do...
mavi is a very close friend from way way back (she's also friends with selena)... the 2 practice sessions that we had with her prior to me and selena's phone conversation was good enough reason to choose mavi over selana... choosing selana meant that the band would be inactive for the time being... i could handle that but what about my bandmates? okay, we could say that i'll let mavi session for a while until i get over selena. i think mavi would also be open to such an arrangement but i have my own selfish reasons in keeping her... plus that fact that mavi and the rest of my bandmates are really getting along quite well... its a totally different experience for all of us...
i'll surely miss her... actually last night at buzz night, i did miss her so much...

Life goes on for Candyaudioline...

Hello Again Everyone...

Life goes on... Buhay pa rin ang Candyaudioline... We have a new singer, as in last Wednesday lang sya nag-try-out for practice... actually we have a gig tonight at Conspiracy in Visayas avenue. sadly wala si dennis tonight... hopefully kumpleto na kami bukas for Buzz Night!!!

Here are the bands confirmed for this Saturday's Buzz Night...

Soft Pillow Kisses
The Cactus Garden
Shimmer
Sunsetdrive
Poopoo Vox
Popular Days
Kings And Pawns
Tether
Candyaudioline

See you at these gigs

Mukang Nabawasan Nanaman Kami...

hello everyone...

ituon ang pansin sa upper righthand corner ng blog natin, may nawawalang pangalan...
eto lang ang masasabi ko... hindi ako ang may gawa nyan... if she's implying something, then i'll glady give in to it...


kel, ano ibig sabihin ng post mo? ayaw mo na rin ba?

2005...

naransan ko na lahat yata e...

MARAMING SALAMAT SA MGA KA-CANDYMATES KO!

kay SELENA dahil naging mabait sya sa akin,
kay AYN, salamat
kay JOEL, sa lahat ng i shinare nya skin,
kay RJ, sa mas maayos na basslines,
kay DENNIS, mga katatawanan,
at kay ALLAN, dahil kungdi dahil sa kanya wala ako dito!

sa inyong lahat maraming salamat!

sana ngaung taong 2006 maging maayos na ang lahat sa banda natin!

KAILANGAN NA NATING MAGBAGO!!! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


PEACE!

January 14 Buzz Night Update...

Hello Again Everyone...

These are some of the bands confirmed for this Saturday's Buzz Night...

Soft Pillow Kisses
The Cactus Garden
Shimmer
Sunsetdrive
Poopoo Vox
Tether

I'm still waiting for the following bands to confirm...

Popular Days
Kings And Pawns
My Sciencne Project

... see you

Buzz Night is on January 14, 2006

hello everyone...

busy, busy busy...

buzz na next week... eto pa lang yung kasama...

soft pillow kisses
shimmer
populardays

sana pwede din ang... kings and pawns, sunsetdrive at the cactus garden...

yun lang muna... busy, busy, busy...

Wohooho!

Happy New Year to all!!! ngehehehehee....pra na bang demonyo? hay nko sana mas maraming raket ngaun saka manahimik na rin dyan ung ibang tao na nanggugulo pa sa amin ibang klase kasi eh kung kayo nasa situation ko baka malamang ganun na din gawin nyo masama naman kasi kung plagi na lang ganun kilala mo naman kung cnu ka ang saken lang naman tama na nuh sobra na nakabaon na nga ko sa problema ganyan ka pa di ka pa ba masaya sa ginawa mo pucha halos isumpa mo na ako ahh...ang saken lang sana magtanda ka naman plagi na lang kasi pagpapasensyahan ung mga ginagawa ko nde lang isang beses un pare dati pa un ehh ewan ko ba syo bat ka ganyan...nde ka naman bata eh ang sakin wag ka masyado mag apekto sa mga problema mo pra maging tisoy ka hehehe..okay tama na minamalas na nga ako ngaun eh masaya ka na? huwag mo na paulit-ulit na ipamukha saken un wag na ka na rin magpakita kung ayaw mo ng gulo tehehehe...joke lang pare miss na kita basta pag gusto mo ako gantihan sa mga nagawa ko sa iyo at para matahimik kana eh d patayin mo nko tapos na problema mo oh di kaya abangan moko sa labas ng isetan plagi akong nagchatchat tuwing 2-5,7-10 pag wla akong raket ayan may idea kana anu pa ba basta sana this year magkaron ng maraming side projects saka marami pa kme gawin ni arjay na props sa theater tehehee..mabuhay c V-64 sana kayanin ko pa this year pasalamat ako sa mga tumulong at palagi nakaalalay sa akin Mama ko,Beejay&Jigs,at si Allan na plage ko sinisingit sa backbeat pra magroadie kahit superslow ako hehehe..anlaking tulong ehh nun mas lalo na pag wala akong pang date hehehe..saka si Selena din analaking tulong nung binigay mong gigs sa amin nila Jigs bago mag Christmass nakabili ako ng bagong celfon at nabigyan ko din c Mama ska ung sukli pinan date ko pa hehehe..ngaun balik ulit ako sa dati patay-gutom sa bahay kunsimisyon sa Mama ko sana magkabati na tayong lahat at magusap na ang mga d nag uusap

happy new year!

happy new year, everyone!

may we have a fruitful, successful year. sana yumaman na tayong lahat at sana matuloy ang lahat ng plano natin. take care...

Firsts, For The First Day Of This Brand New Year...

hello everyone...

another non-candy entry from me...

2006 firsts... (starting from the time i got out of bed or sofa for that matter)
backbeat staff lorenz was the first person who called me up making him the first person i've spoken to over the phone... he also happened to be the first peron whom i called on the phone (what can i do, work related eh)

the first person i was with outside the family and circle of friends was dodong cruz of the youth... we were at rajah soliaman in malate for his tv guesting for s.o.p.

first work related thing i did was to accompany dodong at s.o.p.

first stranger i have interaction with is antonio from bubble gang. i was quietly sitting just beside the row of rehearsing gma7 talents trying to get a glimpse of miss nadine samonte (napagkamalan ko ngang si yasmin sya eh) when all of a sudden someone began massaging my shoulders. when i look back, it was antonio. he greeted me and asked if parokya was coming and as to which artist / singer was with me...

the first mode of transporation i rode in was in a taxi, i was suppoed to take a jeepney but i rained so hard... this makes the 120 peso taxi fair my first cash expense for the year...

first album i listened to was "spiders..." from the sprites...

first tv program i watched was s files. can't do anything about it because after i turn the tv on, the remote fucked up...

first friend na inaya ko sa labas ay si charles although me and mavi already made plans to run around the metro 2 days before...

first bar na timabayan ko was at sharkey's with charles and mavi...
medyo dissappointed kami kasi ang bilas nilang naubusan ng yello so di rin kami gaanong naka-inom... we proceeded to mr. kabab para tumambay lang peo after an hour of kulitan and kwentuhan, charles suddenly had to excuse himself dahil nahihilo daw sya... so since i saw that mavi was a bit sleepy, i decided to call it a night and took her home making her the first person na inihatid ko pa-uwi this year...

jan. 1, 2006 was quite okey, my only wish was sana wala yung s.o.p. kanina. hayun, abunado pa tuloy ako ng 2230 pesos...

At last, Something To Smile About... (part 2)

... now i arrive at mayrics, kings and pawns were playing and i listened to them from outside... they were really good it's just that medyo nanibago lang ako sa kanila di ko lang alam kung bakit... during their set i was kind of tripping around with joey and gilbert... panay nga kantyaw ang inabot ko eh so when i had enough... i sought out mavi's company... cool talaga itong si mavi... parang si garfield kung umasta... sya yung pinang-tapat ko kina gilbert at joey since d namn nila gaanong close si mavi eh wala silang nagawa kundi tigilan ako... after a while, apol went out and approached me. i can see that she was a bit nervous and obviously uneasy - may mga friend kasi sya na nanuod... i assured her that everything will be fine and that it'll all be over in a short while... so we played starting of with "harsh words" and from that point on i knew that everything will be fine... we played in front of a very receptive crowd with joey and gilbert seated in the very front table... ayus talaga yung dalawa yan... ang lalakas mang-asar... ngiting-ngiti yung dalawa habang kinakanta namin ni apol yung "harsh words", "it will never last (forever)", "stay here for a while"... medyo nabaling lang yung pansin nila kay janpol during "wasting opportunities" at "i was right"... i think the peolple there really liked the songs we played specially "i don't know what to say" and "bathing in the sun"... i for one was so enchanted while doing "bathing in the sun" that for one moment there i felt a moment of pure bliss... like the one in 6UG, we got off stage in very high spirits although apol was at times uncertain whether she was able to it pull or not. i assured her that she did... my science project was suppose to be up next but since thier drummer was no where in sight, they decided to give their slot to the cactus garden... it was the first time i saw them and i was so impressed. i'm even considering to include them in the compilation project if my funds would still allow it... apol and company had to leave during the middle of cactus garden's set. so we said goodbye to them (yung isang kasama nila eh mukang may tama kay arjay, hehehe sorry ka, taken na yun eh...) so we went back inside to watch the remainder of cactus' set... ang kulit ni charles at dennis, kantyawan ng kantyawan. my wet shirt caught mavi's attention so she bullied me into taking it off upon seeing that i had another shirt inside... na-touch nga ako sa ginawa nya eh... he asked for charles' powder and had me put some on my chest and on my back... ayun ang bango-bango ko bigla... amoy charles na ako... after cactus' set, kel and dennis insisted that candyaudioline should play so i gave in to their request pero by that time, i was experiencing slight chest pains. i begged charles to play guitar in my place but he politely declined... so we played. there were just members of kings and cactus plus charles and mavi watching while mang oca was making pack-up... i felt kinda akward singing all by myself but i had to so i did... we played an mbv song, then followed by a spoken word version of "flaming walls" (which caught my bandmates a bit off-guard, charles even thought that i was crying that time...) then proceeded to doing an old version of "my silver chair" with "better view" as last song... i decided to play another song "if i could" just to play a joke on arjay who was became a bit distressed but was able to carry out the task so well... although nabitin and mga candymates ko, we still agreed that it was a very cool way to end 2005 (especially for me)... so we (me, charles, mavi, dennis, kel and arjay) all said our goodbyes to the las piñas people it was arleady 3am so we headed straight to marlets to continue our end of year bonding session... we stayed at my place where dennis continued playing "bookworm de lux" scoring a very neat 330,000 plus with the help of me, charles and kel's coaching while i let mavi lie down the sofa to watch a dvd movie... they all left at around 5:30am except for mavi who stayed for another hour and a half playing "bookworm" and chatting with me while i was watching "johnny english" on tv... at around 7:30am. we left my place, went to tracks studio in pasig to get some re-mastered cd's of backbeat bands and brought her safely home to her place in san juan... i got back home at around 9am then went straight to bed but suddenly, i began to feel some slightly painful chest spasms. fearing that the worse was about to happen, i texted all of my closest friends some really cheesy show of gratiduted semantics just in case... then i dozed off... i woke up at around 4:30pm feeling slightly relieved... eto ako ngayon buhay pa rin...

2006...

hello everyone!!!

Happy New Year...

not much of a new years eve celebration for me... its more like an exercise in brutality... seeing all the happy people around us. grabe na-depress ako ulit... yung tatlong tenants sa compound namin ay puro nag-out of town... so imagine this scenario... just got out of the house to mingle with our neighbors only to find that we were the only lighted house in the area... and dilim... so i went out pa towrds the gate... that's were i saw some sign of life... putukan everywhere... while me together with my older brother and half-sister contented ourselves with just watching the festivities outside from the comfort and safety of our gateway... the place where we were located was a very stark contrast from what's happenning outside... sa totoo lang na-inggit ako... madami naman akong pera, bakit ba di ako bumili ng paputok... my older brother asked me if i bought some firecrackes, maybe he too felt the blandness of our place... my mom when out to check us out and we all exchanged "happy new year" greetings... by that time, lalo akong nalungkot because i was missing someone... (i won't elaborate anymore) so we went back inside to have dinner but not before learning that just a block behind our place, a big fire was catching the attention of everyone within a half kilometer radius... oh well...

thanks to charles, dennis and arjay for calling me... at least i'm a bit okey now...

HAPPY NEW YEAR... HERE'S LOOKING FORWARD TO A BETTER, HEALTHIER AND HAPPIER LIFE AHEAD...

more money to earn, more gigs to play, more new songs to sing, more bands to discover, more strip joints and saunas to conquer, more friends to meet, more people to help and share graces with, more happinness for me and most of all, someone who'll...