Quiet Is The New Loud...

Hello Everyone...

Nothing original about the title of this post but it is what we're in right now... I really hate it when we're in this sort of situation but what can i do... not much activity for us during the past week... Just one gig last Monday, Feb. 4 and that's that... we can't practice because of Kel's present situation... in spite of my being free during the past couple of days... Most of the work gigs i had this week ended up between 10pm the earliest and about 11pm the latest... even the one we had yesterday at Angeles didn't reach the 10:45 mark... During this week, i realized that i've spent most of the time loitering the dark alleys of the Quezon City district with my current view watching buddy Rene... a succession of almost 3 non-productive nights spent on talking nonsense, eating, dissing and subconscious dreaming about what lies ahead for us...

speaking of what lies ahead, honestly i haven't have the slightest idea of where all of this is headed... although we're not really aiming to go somewhere or someplace... just the company of friends/bandmates is good enough for me... but look at what time has done to us... i miss the days when almost everyone was virtually "just there"...

a single phone call would eventually result in an unplanned gimmick of sorts... be it in a nearby Starbucks, a sleazy strip joint, an Pares station or even at the place of a far away house full of food that you can get without any hesitation all... hmmm, "hesitation" is what's bugging me during that past week... will i or won't i. do we or don't we... when the clock strikes 9, i'm pestered with the question "should i" which always result in a "we shouldn't have not"... which brings me to my next and final recollection...

so why is it always like this... is this some sort of a burn out thing... just no one to talk to really... Now i'm beginning to feel very sleepy... so i'll be off to bed in a while... i'll continue dreaming on and just wait for something good to come out of this very deafening silence...

bye for now but first i'll quote a line or two from a song that best describes what i feel at the moment... it's from a band called Gene and i goes like this... "and i'm at my lowest ebb and it doesn't feel like home and i still can't find the phone..."

i'll post something again very soon...