"Beautifool!… Naks!"

Famous last words hehehe.

It's amazing how bright lights can reduce a fairly articulate person (*ahem*… moi) into a stuttering idiot. No doubt, some of you have seen the infamous "OUT!" episode. It was an interesting experience, at best. But, in retrospect, I have to say that they edit their show and present it very well.

Charles picked me up at an early 6:30 pm with Ralph's guitar. We passed by San Juan for Allan and decided to meet Ralph at Greenbelt in Makati. We hovered over a few racks in Tower Records for a while before Allan finally picked a CD to buy, then we went to the food court to eat our blah-tasting Japanese dinner. We didn't know where in hell Peligro was, but sensing it was too close to take a cab, we decided to walk it.

Peligro. Whenever I say that word, I can't help putting a faux Spanish accent to it: Pehhl-lí-groh! We almost got lost in Legazpi Village, too, because the security guards kept giving us weird directions. Allan's legs were killing him because we had to walk so far, and Ralph and Charles were lugging the guitars around. Finally, we found the building, and it turned out that Pehhl-lí-groh didn't have decent signage. We entered the bar and found the interior very homey yet chic. What I really liked were the photo tarps hung on the walls; my favorites were the ones of the girl underwater and another girl raising her arms to a cloud-filled blue sky. It was weird because people kept coming in and heading up to the second floor into I-don't-know-what. It was like there was this black hole that sucked up all the people. I think it might have been a chill-out room. Maybe Pehhl-lí-groh is some kind of low-key exclusive hangout.

Ayn finally arrived with the TV crew and her made-up friends. The three of them looked really uncomfortable in their new dos… but it was fun to see Ayn look drastically different. Allan and Ralph and I kept laughing outside because we didn't even recognize her right away, and then Roel came out and totally overlooked her and he screamed like a girl when he realized it was her. These reactions, the camera wasn't able to take so, to my chagrin, they made me "react" again to "seeing Ayn for the first time."

I hate cameras. I only like them when they're held by friends and they're for the exclusive purpose of hamming it up. Sigh.

So, knowing full well that I had just made a fool of myself with my speech (full transcription to follow), I went inside and we started our gig.

This is what happened in front of the camera, by the way, which was mercifully edited by GMA 7 into the less cruel form above in this entry's title field:

Selena: (oh-so-blandly and sticking her arms out limply to Ayn, who is coming up the steps towards her) Oh my god, Ayyyyn… I can't believe it… hindi ako makapaniwala… um… uhhh… ibang-iba ka na…

Avi (the transsexual host): So, Selena, what can you say about the new Ayn?

Selena: (grasping desperately for Tagalog words because the host made her do her spiel over) uhmmm… ok!… Beautifool!…(painfully realizing how lame she sounds and attempting to make a joke of it; looks at Avi witheringly) Nakss!

Avi: (sensing the desperate situation) So… ibang-iba na ba siya?

Selena: (overly zealous) Grabeh! Ibang-iba talaga… hindi ko na-imagine na pwede siyang mag-mukhang ganyan (catches Ayn's discomfort and is instantly afraid she has said something offensive)… I mean--- astig! She should dress like that more often to… uhmmm… break the monotony… (trails off)

Mwahahaha! They should have interviewed Allan instead so he could have made it more comedic. Fortunately, Candyaudioline's set was amazing that night, and it helped me recover from the absurdity of it all. By our second song, people were coming down from the black hole upstairs and listening to us. The sound system was great, too, and we could all hear ourselves and play comfortably (despite more camera nuisance). It was great. We all loved our set.

Olympic Smoker then took the stage and wowed even more of the people from upstairs because of their funky approach. Ralph, Allan and I stepped out to a nearby Mini Stop for some juice; poor Ayn had to stay inside to shoot more footage and Roel was catching a few winks on the side. After that set, Moonstar 88 played. By that time, the TV crew had gone ahead and Ayn and her friends had changed back into their old skins. It was an unbelievable relief to see Ayn as herself again… she looked cute in her makeover getup, but it wasn't HER. I was so glad she changed before the night was over. They weren't even able to keep the stuff they wore because they were so expensive; instead, they were given cheap tees and a tiny honorarium each.

Ralph and Roel had to go home early so it was only Allan, Charles and I who got to go back to Ayn's house for her birthday Japanese (again) dinner. It was really nice and authentic, even if it was prepared at home, and Ayn's daughter was awake to entertain us with her antics. We had a lot of fun and food (yum), although it was early morning already and we were all very tired.

Postscript:

I watched the featured episode and it wasn't bad, really. I was afraid that, since it was a gay show, they'd make it ridiculous and flamboyant, and perhaps make fun of the three women's chosen lifestyle. I know that was grossly bigoted and biased for me to believe such stereotypes about gays, but you can never tell with Philippine media, you know. Instead, I found the episode, especially the makeover segment, to be intelligently produced and smoothly edited. There's hope for Philippine TV yet, especially in the hands of those gays and their production staff.

But I hated how fat I looked when they filmed me for my reaction. I will never smile again!


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A Rare Feat of Candid Blogging

This morning, Allan called me before I went off to work and told me he was considering including the old version of "Felt So Fine" in the album, since the newly recorded one sucked so much. "Natatakot kasi akong maglabas ng 13 songs lang… baka malas."

I was surprised. First of all, Allan is actually thinking about the release of our album again, which means that there is hope of it actually coming out! Secondly, I couldn't believe that sensible, old Allan was giving in to superstition. "'Wag naaaaaa… hindi naman malas yun 'no. There's no such thing."

"Pero, babbygub… si Paul Westerberg, naglabas ng 13 songs, tapos, ayun."

PAUL WESTERBERG??!! "Paul Westerberg??!! But he's Paul Westerberg!!!"

"But I am Allan Montero…"

We both snickered. However, I still felt that he shouldn't include the old version. "Allan, iba yung vocalist diyan. Won't that be weird? People will be wondering what the heck is going on."

"Eh hindi ko naman sasabihin na iba yung vocalist eh."

"NGE! Eh di unfair sa kanya yun!" I could hear him snickering even more but I was in a mild panic. "ALLAN! It's just too weird… wag naa. Kasi iisipin ng mga tao, 'So sinu-sino ba talaga kayo sa Candyaudioline?' Di ba??? Ok lang yan… thirteen songs na lang tayo… wag mo nang ilagay yung lumang 'Felt So Fine'."

More snickering.

Grrr. "O sige na nga… I admit na part of it, on my part, is just the ego thing… pero di ba? Mas may unity kung hindi mo na isasali yung luma. O kaya… kung gusto mo, mag-record na lang ulit tayo kina Billy para mas mura…"

"Magre-record tayo ulit?"

"Oo!"

A chuckle, low and cynical. "Hehehe… you… are making… me… laugh."

At that point, I cracked up, too. I don't know what Allan will finally decide to do, but I think I presented my case pretty well... don't you think so, too? Haha!