real life sucks

This post is in connection with my last post on life outside the band. I noticed that the reasons we can't play these days are largely because our alter egos need to work overtime. Ralph is busy earning money for his baby's birth. Roel and Allan are busy with Backbeat gigs. Ayn is in law school and needs to put her nose to the grindstone. I have family problems, though I think that, of all of us, I'm the one who has the most will and capacity to sacrifice in order to have a candyaudioline gig.

Do things like playing in a band and meeting obligations not mix? I suppose that this is a fundamental dilemma for any band and that ours has more obstacles than the usual. But it's not like we can just up and leave our real lives for the pursuit of a really good live show. I'm just bothered at how everything always seems to have to taper off to few-and-far-betweens. Maybe this is always the case when a band grows older. Other obligations just have to be prioritized, especially because most of us still want to lead normal, healthy lives (in terms of having a family and financial security).

When I wasn't a member of candyaudioline yet, my impression of the band scene was that it was very limited, that there were only a few bands left from the early 90's Pinoy "band explosion". Once I scratched the surface upon joining candyaudioline, I realized that this scantiness was due to matters of exposure, and that there were actually dozens of talented bands who weren't getting airplay or any other means of presenting their work. This was very enlightening, and I felt privileged to watch productions like Buzz Night and other smaller ones that had rosters of amazing but unheard-of bands. I realized how very small my perception of Filipino music used to be.

But after some time, I noticed that I kept seeing the same faces all the time, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, of course. I just discovered how finite the band scene still was, although a little bigger than what I first perceived it to be. And the more I got a sense of how finite it was, the more I noticed that it wasn't even stable, but that the number of bands was actually dwindling. Great bands were stopping, breaking-up, reforming as something else and then breaking-up again, all because of shifting commitments and priorities. It's all very sad.

Well, I guess that it's just another manifestation of "survival of the fittest". It sounds trite, but I think clichés are just so because they apply universally. The band that plays together, stays together… and all such BS. Of course, there's always the hope that new blood will arise, bringing with them the growth of a genre and opportunities for the meeting of more minds for the greater good of the music.

So maybe this hiatus was inevitable, especially since most of us in candyaudioline are normal, everyday people (verging on the "baduy but lovable" hehehe). Every band goes through this phase. We just have to have faith and stick it out. Eventually, we'll find a rhythm where we can make time for each other and go on excellent sound trips again. Relax. Remember that conformity is not the evil… it's complacency and stagnation.

:D