On Life Outside the Band

Obviously, the greatest obstacle to playing in a band such as Candyaudioline is living life. We do such different things that it's so difficult to match schedules and activities where everyone can have a good time and/or do what we love to do best: play. I'd like to examine how these circumstances came to be and hopefully, achieve some catharsis on this matter. I know that one of our greatest frustrations these days is that we can't get together and play… we don't really like talking about it because it seems all the more futile when we do.

Well, let's see. When this line-up was formed in summer of 2002, Ayn and I were still at school, Allan and Roel were already working at their current jobs (Backbeat Management), and Ralph was a skilled peon at some web design company in Makati. Obviously, Ayn and I had freer, more fixed schedules that were easy to match, even as we were finishing our respective theses. Allan and Roel had flexible schedules, though many a gig had to be cancelled due to the unpredictable nature of such a schedule (sudden gigs, etc.). Ralph was… I don't know. I guess he had less work then and I think he was starting to hate his job, which made it easier for him to nix a work night in favor of a gig hehehe. All these explain how easy it was for us then to play so many dates without having a real schedule for gigs like other bands did. Most of it was usually spur-of-the-moment; Allan would just text us all on the same date, "Uy, may tugtog tayo mamaya sa ____," and we'd all just show up. I think the only real roadblock back then to our availability as a band was when Ayn got pregnant, but even that was assuaged by a sub-bassist named Sonia and then later on by Ayn herself when she realized she wanted to keep playing in the band right until a few days before her due date. I remember that time that we were all scared she'd suddenly go into labor in the middle of "Wicked Glances" or something freaky like that.

Then, I graduated. But I was out of work for a long time. Ralph also quit his job. We were basically just raring to go play all the time because it got even easier to drop everything for a gig. We also started going out together more often. With our bosom buddies from Popular Days, we did everything together, from watching the latest movies to eating at our favorite Pares or Kebab places, to videoke at Nymphet'z and movie marathons/drinking sprees at Ayn's house. This was the height of our closeness as a band, I think. I eventually found work, but its flexibility enabled me to keep performing even with all the late nights. Then, Allan and I got together and bonding became even easier.

But then, Ralph found work at a more prestigious (but stingy) web company in Eastwood. That was the beginning of extended periods of rest for the band. His work became very demanding to the point that he disappeared for days at a time without answering our texts. I think I must have posted about 2 "Where's Ralphyyyyyy???" entries in the past 6 months hehehe. He was just swamped at work.

Meanwhile, so were Allan and Roel, with all the Backbeat gigs during Christmas and School Fair season. Schedules were becoming more difficult to match, and soon Ayn was having a problem, too, because she was preparing for graduation and for law school. This gave Allan time to concentrate on his other bands, Soft Pillow Kisses and Superminty. It was a good thing that we had at least finished our album recording by the first quarter of the year because things became even more desperate.

Ralph quit his job again and decided to make it as a freelance web designer. With the news of Charmaine's pregnancy, he needed to raise some money-- and fast!-- so he decided to concentrate on all his rackets for the benefit of his future child. Roel was also promoted to being a Parokya roadie; i.e., he had more gigs to go to and less time on his hands. Ayn was waiting for law school to start and she worriedly kept asking for us to take advantage of summer to play or practice because she knew how trapped she was going to be in law school come June. I, on the other hand, was still at my same humble job, frantically thinking on ways for the band to balance its time. So was Allan, but he found a way for us to take advantage of the last week of May by booking us over the weekend for several gigs. Yahoo.

Except that he suddenly had to be hospitalized for his leg. All those gigs were cancelled.

And here we are. Still waiting. The few times we get together are so precious. We can only do it two or three at a time, but each instance is a momentous event, like that time Allan and I stumbled upon Ayn at Rockwell. Or when Roel, Allan and I see each other at Backbeat events and talk about "the next gig".

Or yesterday, when Allan, Roel and I met Ralph and Charmaine at the Parokya DVD shoot in Makati. The two met me at Shopwise and relayed Allan's message to buy him a shirt (the one he was wearing was dirty from hauling props around). Charmaine really looks like a mother now with her extra weight. I hastily picked out a gray, triple XL Crispa shirt, knowing very well that Allan wouldn't fit in it, and watched Ralph and Charmaine paying for their baby stuff in the next checkout line. Later, at the studio, we sat around in monobloc chairs and someone commented on Charmaine's pregnancy. "Pare, kami na lang ni Selena ang walang anak sa banda!"

"Gumawa na kayo," Ralph said.

I suddenly remembered Ayn and Tristania so I texted Ayn about Ralph and Charmaine being at the shoot, if she wanted to have a reunion. Regretfully, she replied that it was too far and that she had an exam she had to study for the next day; she said she would try to make it up to us and that she was sorry we always had to adjust to her. I said she shouldn't mention it because we care about her and we admire the fact that she's working so hard. "Basta usually free ako pag Friday," she said, "Kung may balak kayo…"

This, I relayed to Allan and he said that he'd try to get us dates on Fridays. We all miss it, dammit. But this was certainly a spark of hope.

Later, while we were watching the shooting, Roel confided to me that he was excited to use the new cymbals and snare he had acquired recently. I think the enthusiasm in his voice was not in the least due to the alcohol that tainted his breath. I think playing in Candyaudioline again is on his mind a lot, too.

The fact is that there is no life outside the band for us. We may not be able to play as often as we could before, but the band itself figures largely in each of our lives, whether we like it or not. It's infused with our separate existences; it is the golden thread that binds the web designer, the road manager, the law student, the roadie and the editorial assistant.