It’s been a long time since I’ve rushed myself to a hospital. Last night, I had to because of my swollen leg which we later found out was cellulitis. Upon entering the ER of UDMC, we were a bit surprised to find out how cool, accommodating and GAY the staff of UDMC was. To the point that the only nervous people inside the room were a half me and Selena. Grabe kami lang ata yung tao dun. I’m going to put down a number of memorable conversations that me, Selena and the doctors had.
Me: Doc, delikado ba ang lagay ko?
Doc With Bigote: (Taas ng kilay sabay ngiwi ala Tito Sotto) …
*
Selena: Allan, magpa-injection ka na para mas mabilis yung epekto ng gamut!
Me: (terrified sabay tingin sa doctor) Doc, saan niyo ba ako tuturukan?
Doc In Yellow shirt na kamukha ng isang member ng Side A: (papikitpikit ng mata with a very gay smile) Eh di saan pa, eh di sa puwet! Kasi left and right arm na yung anti tetanus mo eh wala ka nang ibang pagtuturukan pa.
*
Me: Doc, ano ba yung mga di ko pupuwedeng kainin?
DIY: Kailangan mo pa bang kumain?
*
Me: Doc, may TV ba sa mga kuwarto in case magpapa admit ako?
DIY: Meron, pero di siya flat screeeen.
*
Selena: (mangiyakngiyak) Allan, pa-admit ka na! Pramis, sasamahan kita (sabay ngiti na parang may ibig sabihin)
Me: (hirap na hirap ang damdamin) SeLEEHNaaah! Mahirap yun. Nakadextrose ako.
Selena: Kaya yan.
*
Me: Doc, ok lang naman po siguro kung di ako magpapa admit ngayon, diba?
DWB: (pilantik ng kamay, sabay irap ng mata from right to left at mataray na sinabing) Aba, bahala ka, basta pumirma ka ng waiver.
Selena: (concerned) Oo, Allan, kailangan pa ng waiver. Paadmit ka na para wala na, baka kung ano mangyari sayo!
Me: (naiiyak sa takot) Eh dati pa naman ako Waver eh! (sabay Bagets dance gesture)
In all honesty, I really wanted to be admitted to the hospital because I was alarmed as to what I was feeling last night: slight fever, swollen leg, painful area on the leg which was very annoying and scary. If it were not for the Buzz Night gig the next day which might be one of the last two gigs of one candymember and that Subic gig for Kamikazee on Sunday. Another reason why I opted not to go was because of the expenses I might incur. The medicine I bought last night would have enabled me to buy a car (joke). Kidding aside, I really wanted to be at Buzz Night today because I will be playing in 3 bands, bands which have not been playing quite seriously for the past few months because of the availability of the members. I’m looking forward to see old friends and meet new friends tonight. I’m also thinking of inviting the doctors tonight, but I know they’re busy giving their brand of caring A1 sevrice and gay humor to our sick brothers and sisters in that little area of Rotonda in Quezon City. Godspeed to them. Bless their souls. If all the doctors in the world were like them, all the patients would find easy cure for their sickness and all the hospitals in the world would be colored pink. I would like to commend the Doctor in Yellow for being so kind and funny. I don’t know if it was intentional but just the same I found it very relaxing and it helped me think positively about my health. Also I would like to thank the Doc na may Bigote for being so malakas ang dating and sincere (facial expressions pa lang, alam mo nang nanganganib na ang buhay mo!).
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